Santana does … ” Don’t Blush Baby ” …

Couldn’t resist …..

Jokes galore up in dis’ one ….. b’cos the whole scenario was ….

ONE BIG ONE !

SMH / LOL ……

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” Miami Vibes ” … written by Big Virge 9/12/2015

So, finally I stop in Miami for a couple of nights, having passed through the airport to go elsewhere previously.

So, a rather, unhelpful girl, questioned my receipt for a free transfer to my hotel, but, eventually accepted that I was due a spot on the bus !

The volume of Latinos & South Americans who are in this part of America is evident, from the airport, to the hotel, just from the volume of Spanish being spoken !!!!

So, off to the, ” Intercontinental “, which overlooks the bay, and is basically downtown ….

…. and WOW …. What a cool spot !!!

A … Very Old Hotel, by all accounts, but, fully decked out !

As per my trip to Maui, last year, the front desk guy was immediately on some,

” I’ll upgrade you sir ! “, without batting an eyelid, so, 12th floor, overlooking the bay, rather than my original room, which had a basic view of the bricks and mortar of downtown Miami !!!

So, already feeling the vibe of the place, my second encounter with my bell hop, was very cool too, as he explained that my room had some nice touches, like, electronic blinds so I need not leave my bed when going to sleep, or, when wanting to view the bay from my bed, upon waking up !!!!!

Also, info watch folks … !!!!!

There were some beverages placed on what, appeared to be a tray !!!!

Well, NOT QUITE … !!!

It was actually an, electronic device, which, he stated, charged the room, as soon as any of the items were lifted from their respective positions !!!!!

Nice !!!!!

…. but, not if you’re not made aware of such, subtle extravagances, which would clearly cost ya a fair penny !

Anyway, shower and food, as it was already 11 pm on Friday night, so, I wanted to try and sample the nightlife !!!

Well, the main restaurant stayed open late at the weekends thankfully, so, dinner was an 11.30 job in a very, swankily designed area, adjacent to the lobby and bar !!!!

I was greeted by a very cool, Peruvian waiter, named Rodrigo, who was very talkative, so, after having some, Delicious lamb, and an absolutely, spot on steak, with lots of Latin spices and a Colombian Bread, that just melted as soon as it touched my palette, he explained that the restaurant was owned and designed by a Mexican, who had a chain that was in places from, New York to Dubai, and to be fair, it wasn’t cheap, but, wasn’t crazy expensive either, but man, the food was exquisite !!!!!

Had a selection of what appeared to me, to be, steroid abusers, well, body builders, at the table across from me, a sight that I not only expected to, but, did see during the next couple of days in Miami !!!!

Maybe they were clean … ???

…. but, this is Miami, and, as Rodrigo and I ended up discussing, as cool as Miami is, pretence in Floridians, is as common as you’d expect in a place where money is flaunted !!!

We spoke on a multitude of topics, and he explained, that I could walk around safely, but shouldn’t do it downtown, as crime is quite regular, and we’re talking some pretty nasty ish’ … !!!

People are regularly held up, or, as he stated, CUT UP … by those below the poverty line !!!

However he stated that rather than head to South Beach, I should try the, Brickell Village, as its bars and clubs stay open, pretty much, through the night, and has a cool vibe, and, Hot Chicas’, are all over the place !!!!

As our conversation became more extensive, he explained about his reasons for leaving his home in Peru.

The story, sadly, encompassed being impoverished, and as beautiful as Peru is, he warned against staying in Lima, as crime levels have increased considerably, in recent times there.

Considering he was working, we really did have a very extensive conversation, which broached everything from, family, to appearance and judgement, as he explained that he liked to rock a FULL ON, ” Billy Goat Gruff “, type of look, which his wife, and work, prohibited him from sporting, and he suggested that, my hair would draw, quite a lot of attention, but was a popular look in Miami.

Well, as ever, I explained that it’s not all good, and that it tends to expose ignorance in people, pretty quickly !

Thus, time to find out if he was right, well, as ever, being in a money environment, exposes you to a very different attitude from people, because of the assumption, that you must be loaded !!!

Well, as I hit the bar for my customary, holiday XO, a white guy who was there on his own, immediately said hello, and chat began.

He was a very, cool looking, 50 year old dude, and he quickly stated, was a 6 figure earning realtor, who had found God, a recently born again Christian, so, I was on some …

“Okay, let me drink my drink and move on type vibes “, in my mind, but, as he talked more, he said he was a Rotarian, and that he was in the process of trying to provide affordable housing for the poor, that encompassed, I guess, more than the norm, as in, providing schemes to not only house, but to, educate and provide ways to employ, and secure things like, child care, so that these people could eventually sustain themselves gainfully, as he claimed his, Christian faith, had instructed him to do this !!!!

An interesting chap right … ???

He also claimed to have invested 300 thousand dollars, of his own money, over the last three years, and had networked with developers, to bring his idea to fruition, downtown, in Miami.

Indeed, an interesting guy, who then explained that he’d just got divorced, due to meeting another Christian Woman, who was a catalyst for change in what was clearly, a wealthy, but, unhappy existence !

Interesting doesn’t even, begin to explain this dude, as he then invited me to go partying with him !!!!

Hmmmm…. Quite the Christian, as he explained when we left the bar, at 2 am, to go looking for a good time !

Well, as he explained about his run ins wih women and hookers in Miami … It wax clear he wasn’t quite as, squeaky clean, as I suggested to him, a Good Christian should be !!!!!!

He seemed to appreciate my candour, so, then was like, “i’m gonna take you to The Brickells'”, so we can look for some pussy !!!!

I was of course, willing, and next thing he was taking me to his apartment, or, should I say Private Condo building, to pick up his car, well, TRUCK !!!!

… so we could drive to a favourite spot of his called, ” The Blue Martini ” …. A bar come club.

It reminded me of some, Dave Chappelle stand up, where he spoke on white peoples’ attitude to breaking the law, when driving, as my newfound, buddy for the night, Robert, had already had a few too many to be driving, i’d imagine, according to local law !!!!

Now, he wasn’t like, blind drunk, but, was def’ over the limit, not that he cared one iota !!!!!

So, as he takes me into this, again …. Very Plush Building … !!! … with, reception security as we entered, we go up like, 20 floors, and then I see this blacked out, heavy duty, pick up, that now proved he was no bullshitter !!!!

Money – YES, clearly in ABUNDANCE !!!!!

So, off we go, the truck was, SO BIG, that it could barely make the bends, to get out of the car park !!!!

Classic Mustangs, etcetera, on every floor !!!!

As we roll into the village, he points out new developments downtown, that are far from affordable, but, have waiting lists to get into !!!

1 & 2 bed condos’ that go for 300 thousand Dollars, upwards, that are in 60 floor buildings !!!!!

We get to the bar at 3, and he says it shuts at 4 !!!!!

The doorman, when he sees me, is ready to turn me away, until I drop, that the bar needs some London vibes !!!!

He smiles, but, as I have no I.D. …. He starts trying it, and basically, demands cash for him to let me in, so I get him to accept a 20, but, the cover is still a further 50 to get in !

Robert, who was vex that I paid the doorman, without batting an eyelid, covers the 50 for me, and party time begins !!!!!

Well, cool spot it was !!!!!

One floor up from ground level, all on one floor, but, with an outdoor bar, as well as two other bars, and people could dance where they wanted.

Latin tunes were thumping, with that, electronic edge to them, a mostly, mature crowd, so, we were good !

My man was scoping immediately, so, as I said to him, quite the Christian …. Ha Ha …. !!!!

So, having bought the first drink, the lil’ hottie’, who served it, got REALLY Pissy, when she received no tip !!!!

It was like a Reservoir Dogs moment, as, unless I get some exceptional service, i’m not tipping, just because ?!?

However, as Robert quickly explained, the service industry staff in The US, get paid so poorly, that they need their tips, so, I obliged, mainly because …. she was f’ing hot !!!!!

So, we started to prowl, and BOOM …. It was as if this, Super Fine Chica’, could smell the money, and Robert was that dude !!!!!

So, after he bought us, two HUGE Cohiba’ Cigars !!!!!

I told him to get on her cos’, she was eyeing him up …. and, he was in like Flint !!!!!

She was tall & sexy, but, very flirtatious !!!!

So, I started to get down to the tunes, and drank and smoked to my hearts content …. and had a great time, til’ 5 !!!!

In the meantime, Robert had dished the girl his business card, but said that he knew she used him for drinks, but, for that, he got to grab her up !!!! tits and ass, but he was one of quite a few, who did …..

Different town, same old ish’ ….

Hot chicks doing their, teasing and gold digging thing, which now, makes me laugh, because they’re so f’ing obvious !!!

So, Crazy Night … Crazy Christian Guy …. But I had a great time !!!!!

The Virge, getting some Miami vibes, thankfully, without the vice !!!!!

Onwards and upwards, as my next trip would take me to Honolulu, Hawaii ….

More to come folks …..

One.

The Virge

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“So They Say” … A Poem written by Big Virge 15/10/2007

Now ladies

Just REMEMBER … !!!!!

” If the cap FITS … !!! ‘

and that ….

Once you cherry done get … BURST … !!!!!

… that like Peter Tosh said, you’re just a …

” Brand New Second Hand ” …

Don’t start attacking me, cos’ i’m an HONEST … man … !!!!!

So ….

BEFORE …. you start to run your lips pon’ dis’ ….

Take the time to LISTEN … and … THINK, before responding …. !!!!!

Cos’ if ya don’t …

Well, it’s CLEAR that these words of verse, refer to you … !!!!!

and … for a change, if they do, keep your cool …. FACE THE TRUTH … and be Honest with YOURSELF, about your moves … !!!!!

and who you’ve … SCREWED … !!!!!

before your closets start rattling …. LOL

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A Bar Tale … from Philly …. written by Big Virge 23/7/2013

So, yes folks, chilling as per, but damnit man, feeling a lil’ rough right now, probably due to having a rather fragile hammock give way under me on Saturday (Samantha & Fire !!!)

So, think me spine and neck may have ended up where they’re not used to being, so, struggling a bit, as I was, one sunday night, at my hotel in Philly.

I was genuinely feeling below par, so, merely went down to the bar to get som food in before everything shut down, well, here is where this particular bar story takes a journey beyond anything I could of expected !!!

The Radisson, being what it is, had held proms & weddings, during my stay, and there had been a wedding earlier, this particular Sunday, thus, fortunately, a young employee by the name of Ty, welcomed me downstairs, and fixed up my order ….

I’d ordered to go, as I was intent on getting back to my room, only to hear from a white girl, who was with a rather hench looking white guy ….

“Come and have a drink as you look like an interesting guy !”

The white guy was like yeah, so, I joined, out of curiosity ….

Now this was to be the beginning of one of those interactions, that, in many ways, typifies, what drink can do, and also, how some people really don’t have the first clue how to just be cool, and not overdo things, especially when, clearly, in unfamiliar company/territory.

So, conversation flowed, and you know what, names escape me now, because this couple were just the stereotypical, slightly tipsy white folks, who look and sound the same after a while, ya know ….

” Sounds familiar, that line !!! ” ….

Anyway, after getting the basic intros out the way, then madame drops the bombshell on my man, who was clearly looking for some sexy times ….

My food arrives, and she’s like,

“Eat it downstairs, what you going up for ?” ….

Once again, Mr. Aus, cos’ he was from Australia, concurred, even if a little reservedly, but, in fairness to him, he seemed cool, but now, I am getting vibes that make me play the game, but, I put my man at rest, by explaining that, I currently had a situation with a woman who was, most probably, the love of my life, which was still running hot in my mind.

Thus, drinks were bought, conversation jumped from, madame’s moving to Australia, on a whim, and then, somehow, via the wonders of the web, hooking up with, I believe, the girl, who got married, which resulted in them becoming friends, and her staying in Australia for a considerable period of time ….

Amazing, how some folks get through … !!!!!

Anyway, he was an ex pro-golfer, stopped, due to injury, and she now worked in the corporate fold of golf promotion, at a very high level …..

This is not unfamiliar teritory for me as I used to be pretty good at golf and know my ish, when it comes to the sport ….

One of the funniest things said, in the whole conversation, was her telling us that she was having dinner with this guy at some function, and she, clearly being oblivious, asked this man, so, what do you do … ?

He replied, “I used to play a bit of golf … ”

She later found out that, this particular man was …. JACK NICKLAUS !!!!

I mean, if ever there was a sign that this was gonna be a most interesting, inter-action, there it was, she works in the field of top level golf, and had no clue who Mr. Nicklaus was … !!!!!

Now, at this point, she couldn’t help herself, and apologetically asked,

“Can I touch your hair !!!”

Thankfully, Mr. Oz didn’t want to indulge, but, here was the moment that defined how I was now going to be, polite and nice, but, mindful of the level of let’s say, hidden agendas, that could support her calling me over, and then doing this stuff, in front of said, Horny Aussie Beefcake !!!!

He was being, ” Ultra Cool “, but, surely, had to be feeling a little threatened by the FACT, that, lil’ Ms. Hottie, may have been getting, just a little bit wet, from touching my head !!!!!

Now, the funniest thing is the amount of times in my life that i’ve had white girls play that line, with boyfriend, or possible partner for the night, in tow ….

Could you imagine doing something like that …. ?!?

My ex would of been, incensed, by such an action ….

Anyway, all of a sudden, another couple come in from the wedding party ….

An interesting looking white chick, and, an older looking white guy, who was quick to state, THAT ….

“We’ve just had sex !”

I mean, SERIOUSLY, talk about feeling insecure & threatened, by something that, hadn’t even been visualised in my mind, as I was trying to maintain my P’s & Q’s, with the first couple ….

Incredible !!!!!!

So, now it got to, the second couple explaining that they wanted couple No.1, to join them at a bar they were going to ….

Well, I was kind of glad that this vibe was offered up, but, wouldn’t you guess, Mr & Mrs. Oz, weren’t interested at all, and in fact more drinks were bought and my relationship issues, were the main subject of discussion now, lots of advice was offered, as if these two could tell me how I should deal with my situation !!!

So, everything was running, drinks, talk, jokes, etc, however, all the time, it was as if, she was trying to entice me into sumthin’, maybe with the 2 of them !!!!!

NOT how I get down !!!!!

…. and he was becoming more and more tactile with her, as if staking his claim to her being, ” HIS “, when clearly, if that was the case, I don’t believe for one second, that i’d be sitting with them drinking …. having just popped in to get some food, on my own …..

Then, in front of him, again, she drops another bomb, “Oh, we just met today, we’re not an item like that !!!”

At this point, i’m just watching his body language and keeping mine, very static …..

Now, after all this, about an hour later, the 2nd couple return, a bit worse for wear, so, as I was in the chair, I offered to buy them a drink, to which they both said no.

So, Mr. & Mrs. OZ were on their way out, so, also said no, but then Mr. Oz, proceeded to pass two extra drinks they had to couple No.2, and amazingly …

Not … !!!!!

They drank the drinks … “HE” … gave them …. !!?!!

Now, girlie number 2, having heard the topic of discussion, gets up in my face whilst her man, for the night, looked on nervously.

Now she, like her friend, was in her late 20’s, and then starts to quietly explain her vibe with sex & relationships, she then says to me that,

“She isn’t about anything longterm, as most men bore her within 45 minutes !!!!!”

I wonder if she was talking about the sex-capade, that, her current squeeze was so quick to shout out about, before even introducing himself to me …. !!!

Now, as she and I got closer, the energy was very intense, she had quite the pair of eyes, and as with most girls in wedding outfits, she had that, “Wedding Sexy Vibe”, going on, she explained that she was a mix of German/Irish & sumthin else, which upon looking at her closely, rang true to me.

She, even with her rather thicker body & tan-lines, at 1.30 in the morning began to look quite appealing …..

(NOTE TO SELF) – Watch those Alcohol-filled Goggles ….

Especially when the … “White Sharks”, are swimming around …..

So, suffice to say, everything ended nicely, but, interestingly, Ms. Oz had this thing about us all meeting in a years time in Hawaii … ?!?

…. to the point where, rather than give her a card, I gave her my e-amil address, to see how, “Interesting”, I really was to her …..

Well, a good few weeks down the line, No e-mail,

Surprised … Hell NO … !!!!

It just verifies what I could see from the beginning, she would flirt and do all the talk, as long as she had her, White Knight, by her side …..

After what we’ve seen regarding recent issues of race in the states, I can totally confirm, that on the surface, YEAH, it’s all great, but, don’t get tie up people, like England, it’s all veneer and rhetoric, when it comes to it, yes, ofcourse the white girls be on some Black Dick now, they always have been, in many ways, like now, if they can get away with it, without you being visible, they’ll play away ….

But at the the end of the day, unless you’re in places where money resides, then you’ll only be a ride for the night, unless they’re, WELL PAST … their prime, then, they’ll happily pay for some, probably from the proceeds of the divorce from the wealthy white man who was of the right ilk to provide, but, who she probably, never actually loved, more than his status & money !!!!

Anyway, to end this bar tale, Ty’s boyfriend was sitting the other side of the bar, a pretty cool white guy, and yes Ty is black folks, and ladies, in terms of his looks, would of been a heartbreaker, either way, for most of you ladies, but, his boyfriend and he, after everyone had left, explained to me that, the whole scenario was so contrived, but, highly entertaining …..

The idea that, oh, I was the guy in the middle of these couples, who essentially was the catalyst, for all this pent up, interest, from the girls, and pent up, passive aggressive, behaviour from the guys, who now know, I don’t play like that, NOT AT ALL.

Ty’s boyfriend, was like, man, “You were so cool”, and in fact, after a while, that made it worse, because when each individual had toilet moments, it could of been on, but, I just strung them along, as people like these are supposed to be ….

So, to end my evening, I sat with the guys, and asked Ty’s boyfriend, what the REAL DEAL was, with the whole, larger than you’d expect, Gay Community in Philly, to which he said, yeah, it’s there, but, what is shocking, is the amount of men, and, he specified, black men, who work with him, who know he is gay, who be pulling out their dicks, in the back of the restaurant he works at, fronting him and basically saying, ” What do you think, interested ?!? ”

Believe if you will, dismiss if you want, but, I got those words straight from the proverbial, ” Horses Mouth “.

Absolutely incredible right, guys who you’d never think would be swinging, oh, yeah, they be swinging …. !!!!!!

As long as … much like the white girl situation ….

It’s kept ….. “undercover” …..

As i’ve said in most of my blogs about my time in Philly …..

All I can say is this folks ….

Philly is one …. CRAZAaaaaY … City !!!!!

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