So, The Good Times Begin – Haleakala !!! … written by Big Virge 22/11/2014

Okay so, here we go folks, the good times begin !!!

Off to the famed crater, formed, from the volcano, that once was, the active Haleakala !

aka – The House of The Sun

If you want the details on this amazing natural phenomena, well, y’all know where Wikipedia is … !!!

Suffice to say, it is essentially, to the south east of Maui, and is situated about 10000 feet above everything else … Just incredible !!!

So, to ensure that I was to get a spot that availed a clear view of the sun rising, it was a sleep depriving, 2.45 a.m. pick up, from where I was staying ….

However, how many times in your life do you get to see the sun rise from the summit of what was once a fully active volcano … ?!?

Well, I ain’t expecting it to be too many more times, if at all, in this lifetime, so, jet lagged and whatever else I may have been, having barely unpacked and got a piece of Maui life, I was up and ready to go, like a state trooper, which, being the late sleeper i’ve become, was no fun !
However, once I got picked up by our rather witty driver, Mike, who then picked up his partner in crime for the day, Aaron, their rather dry and sometimes, very funny, humour, kept the 10 or so folks in the bus, awake and engaged, from varying questions about everything from the expansive sugar cane harvest, that Maui produces, to the dangers of this incredible road, that takes you up to the heavens, as it were.

Fortunately for me, the hotel staff were on point, and advised me to take a blanket because the morning air, up there, can be, SERIOUSLY COLD, and FUCK, were they right !!!!!

So, thankfully, I had a blanket as well as the, extra trousers and jacket provided by the tour. Some heads were vocally, seriously jealous, when they saw me wrapped up like a Siberian Christmas Gift !!! …. but hey, sometimes, my vibes create that level of love from people, so, I gotta give props to the Wailea Marriot staff, who, for the most part, have been, extremely cool with me, from the moment of my arrival.

Anyways, yup, we were one of the first groups to get to the summit, overlooking a very dark scene, with, chilling winds, and very little else to do, but wait and listen to little tit bits from our man Aaron, who was actually, pretty scathing of some of the other park rangers and advisors, who seem to be, a little less customer friendly !

So, it would seem that, I had once again, landed on my feet, in terms of the tour operator the hotel uses, as Mike and Aaron, were very cool, but, much like the elements up there, were slowly, warming up to our group, and to the task of keeping us, suitably entertained, before the sun actually decided to give a lil’, and I do mean, ” lil’ “, warmth up there !

So, I had Canadians, and I think, some heads from Cali’, running talk, and jokes, about this and that, while we waited.

I dared not unwrap myself to take a picture, as I could feel my nose beginning to run like the proverbial tap, so, was just trying to stop big drippy boogas, from coming out of my nose, for the most part !

This adventure provided clear proof to me that …..

Damnnnn …. !!!

White folks can take some cold though people !!!!!

Pictures were being taken, although the husband of one of the ladies who came up with us, was smart, and used my big frame as some kind of wind shield, from those, chilly, trade winds.

If those were trade winds, at that moment, i’d of traded them for a Bajan Beach, right about then !!!

However, as time passed, we approached the approximate, 6.30 eta, for the sun to rise … and let me make this clear people, this is not a hour long slow and steady, it really happens, seemingly, in the blink of an eye, so, as crowds and groups gathered, and entered the shelter of the visitor centre, up she came ….

Stunning, Beautiful, Orangey, Yellow hues in the distance, that shone upon us, and the dark brown, and black, volcanic rock that was formed from the cooling of the lava flow that once came form Haleakala.

It is rumoured that over the precipice that was formed, there were many warriors of ancient times, who threw themselves off the mountain, as a form of high order sacrifice, which is truly incredible to think could of been happening where people now come for a tourist attraction.

There was little time for photo ops, for us tourists, but again, due to Aaron’s experience, when I asked him to take one of me, he was quick to tell me to open up my fingers slightly, so I could hold the sun !

Now this may seem strange, but bwoy, did he take a great photo !!!

Due to my standing in front of the sunlight, i’m silhouetted, but, my fingers literally appear to be holding the sun as it rose !

It’s one of those shots to treasure, and I will always remember Aaron for that, and it will always be a memory i’ll now, not only have in digital form to treasure, but, one that my mind will hopefully, never lose, just because of the gravitas of the whole scenario !

First time to Maui, first real excursion undertaken, and the first time i’ve ever been, THAT F’ing cold, and standing outdoors, at that time of the morning !!!!

Golfers can carry dey’ ass, they don’t know about cold, unless they’re doing 18 holes in F’ing Antarctica !!!

So, as I said, it went from dark to light, in what seemed like seconds, but essentially, moments after we saw it rise out of the skyline, it was day.

Due to the precipitous & nebulous nature of Maui, again, all connected to the volcanoes, in no small degree, the cloud cover was almost as impressive as the sunrise, because there were just so many surrounding, that, a little rain was in the air, but, whilst we were up there, we thankfully, didn’t get wet.

However, as said, it was so cold, that I actually lost some of the skin right under my nostrils, from trying to stop them running, just to give you an idea of what the elements can do up there.

So, from there, having noticed the apparent, laser capable observatory, that was from Reagans’ days in office, to observing some of the differing species of plant life that reside up there, we headed half way down the hill, because yup, it was time to get on some bikes and enjoy the return journey, on two wheels !!!!!

How f’ing cool ???

VERY FUCKING COOL !!!

The bikes are a breed I have rarely seen before, with disc operated brakes, that have, ONE GEAR, which I guess is called, DOWNHILL, as that was the majority of the terrain we cycled on.

Aaron said they used to do these rides from the top, until a couple of people missed bends and yup, died from not paying attention, and going over the edges of some the turns !!!!!

Yes folks, that’s how steep, and twisty, the road to Haleakala can get, but, our journey, from more like 6000 feet or thereabouts, was still challenging, if you’re a lil’ squeamish, or not so fit, but, just blissful.

Countryside, hills, lush green vegetation on all sides, and some beautiful homes to observe, on the route, in fact, now it comes to me, I digress, but damn, we even had a couple from Lebanon, in our party !!!

However, within a few hundred feet of our ride down, the Lebanese Lady, had to get off and come down in the van with Mike. Aaron, meantime, was styling it out, with both feet on one side of his bike, leading the rest of us down, this incredible road, and what a fun part of the excursion that was !!!

If you were smart with your brakes, you basically could get down to the bottom, without peddling at all !!!

The bikes are so specific for such journeys, that, if you do pedal, you feel like the chain has snapped, because there is almost no resistance for you to pedal against.

We hit a local golf course for BREAKFAST, YES … BREAKFAST, and then headed back to our hotels, which was another 2 hour drive or thereabouts …..

I was of course, shattered, upon returning, but had a great time !!!!!

Upon returning to my hotel, was quickly poolside, found a comfy lounger, ordered some food, and chilled the fuck out, for the remainder of the day, and then took in an, equally beautiful sunset that evening !!!!!

….. and thus, my Maui trip had truly began, and I had seen enough to know that, this was gonna be one hell of a holiday ….

So, more to come people, believe me, this is just the beginning … !!!

Aloha … which is not just hello, but, is also an expression of …

Love and Peace ….

So, once again, all the way from my hotel in Maui ….

ALOHA people … !!!

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“Why are you being … Such A Sphincter ?” … A Poem written by Big Virge 24/8/2006

I was with a …. female friend
when our conversation … led …

to ……
” Condescending Sinners ” … !!!
who are … CLEARLY …
…. ” Walking Sphincters ” …. !!!!!

Those who … THINK … ?
Their SHIT … DON”T STINK … ?!?!?

and think their views …
are … “Ever so” … COOL … !!!

which of course … Allows Them …
to … Talk Down … to you … ?!? …

Now ….
If you don’t know … ?
what a … ” Sphincter ” … is … ?

It’s a muscle that’s … shaped …
Kind of like …. ” A Ring ” ….

Like the one that … OPENS …
when you’ve … got to … GO … !!!!!

or in other words …
what we call … ” AN ASSHOLE ” … !!!!!

Now …
You know … ” The Type ” … !!!
about whom … I write …

Those who …
Talk to you …
Whilst looking down …

“Their Nose” … !!!

“Ignorant Clowns” …
who should …..
Keep their mouths …

….. “Closed” …… !!!!!!!

I’ve seen them come …
I’ve seen them … ” GO ” …

Many of … “THEM” …
Claim to … ” Write Prose ” …
and … some of them … “attempt” …
to host …. ” Live Shows ” ….. !!! …..

“Spoken Word”
or … ” Radio ” … ?

Many of them …
Really Should … STAY HOME … !!!!!

Instead of making …
” Ridiculous ” … quotes … !?!
That Clearly … SHOWS …
What’s Up … ” Their Nose ” … !!!!!

TV’s …. The Same …. !!!

because of … ” FAME ” … !!!!!

These people … ” THINK ” …
They’re … ” Oh So Slick ” … !!!!!
when clearly … they’re …

” The Weakest Link ” … !!!!!

Come on now folks … !!!

Haven’t you had enough ?!?
of … ” Sphincter Clowns ” … !!!
whose noses are … BROWN … !!!

They’re Clearly … SICK … !!!
because they … ” Lick ” …
THAT … ” Anal Hole ” … !!!!!!!

Where …
SHIT … comes out … !!!!!

Now ….
Captain Kirk and his crew …
May Be ….. ” Quite Bold ” ….. !!!

But …
That’s a … ” Black hole ” …
They Won’t … Boldly Go … !!!!!

YES …..
That’s a … JOKE … !!!
but … Trust Me … folks …

” Human ” … sphincters …
have sold … Their Souls … !!!

Let those words … SOAK …
Beyond … The Sphincter …
You call … Your Throat …

Who … do you know ?
who … Acts like … this … ?

Men that … “snitch” … ?
or … Women who … “Bitch” … ?

We all know … ONE … !!!
who lives by … “Tricks” …
and think that … THEY …
are … ” Oh So GREAT !!! ” …

or …. ” Intellectuals ” ….
who think they’re … COOL …
because they’ve been …
” To ” ….. Festivals …..

Where … Hip Hop played …
and they heard … Reggae …

“I say, I say !!!
Have you heard, that tune ?!?
by those two, coloured youths ?
They were so good
that i’m, down with the hood !!!”

Now ….
Replies like … THIS …
tend to leave them …
… ” Flustered ” …

“You said that, they were,
coloured, could you be,
more exact, were they
Green, Pink or Yellow ?
or, are you saying ?
They were black ?”

“So now, you’re down !
with the hood !!!
Don’t you live in ?
St. John’s wood !?!
In actual fact,
don’t you have,
another flat ?
Somewhere in, Upper Sheen
A place where, coloured people
are rarely ever, seen, unless
they’re there, to clean !!!?!!!”

These people live in …
……. ” Dreams ” …….
in … ” Comfort Zones ”
with ….. MEANS ……

A stash of cash …
that could buy …
Ki’s of … “GREEN” … !!!!!
YES … Ki’s … of weed … !!!
Enough to … FEED …

Drug families … !!!
Right here and … Overseas … !!?!!

Trust me … ” BELIEVE ”
Rich People … aren’t …
all … ” Squeaky Clean ” … !!!!!

That’s why …
” STRAIGHT SPEAK ”
Makes them …
” Feel WEAK ” … !!!!!

When my friend and I
sat and … “Analysed”

I said to her ….

“These human sphincters
make me sick !!!
I’ll write a script
that, lyrically flips,
and sheds some light,
on these, Bourgeois Types,
who think they’re right
whether day or night,
because they’re living,
life alright !!!!!”

“They” … aren’t afraid …
of more … price HIKES …
because their father,
sets the price !!!

To Ensure … that he …
gets a …. ” BIG SLICE ” …. !!!!!

to pay for his home …
In The … ” Countryside ” …

“His” … Second Home … !!!
Oh Yes …. That’s Right …. !!!!!
and the … ” Four by Four ” …
for his … ” Greedy Wife ” …
who cannot drive … but …
Wants the car because …
It’s Price is … ” HIGH ” … !!?!!

These people live …
A … DIFFERENT … life …

Then … talk to us like
We … DON”T HAVE … a mind !!!

But …..
What about … “Those” … ?
who are … EVEN WORSE … !!!!!

” Bourgeoise ” … WANNABEES … ??!??
who … Try to be … like …

…. ” The Bourgeoisie ” ….

when they live at …. Number 9
down the … ” Very Next Street ” … !?!

Living in …. DEBT
Like … everyone else … ?!?

ALL SHOW … !!!
and … NO TELL … ???

with their nose … “In The Air”
cos’ they … Don’t Like …

……. ” The Smell ” ……..

of … their own …
” Fake Lives ” …
and their … ” Fake Insights ” …

The Only Time …
They’re … NOT FAKE …
is when … THEY LIE … !!!!!

Take a minute and … THINK …

Then …
Rewind that line
Inside ….. Your Mind ….. !!!

The lives … they lead …
are so … ” CONTRIVED ” …

That’s why …
They Don’t Like …
The words I write …

“Condescending” … Termites …
Well …. ” REALITY BITES ” ….
and as time …. ” Flies ” ….

They may just find … ???
That thoughts they … “TRUST”
May leave them … ” STUCK ” … !!!!!

and … Those of them …
who live life … ” Blinkered ”

WILL …. Fall Foul of ….
Those of us … Who Are …

….. ” THINKERS ” ….. !!!!!!!!!

Who …
Look at them thinking …

“Why are you being
Such a SPHINCTER !?! “

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